The concept of Self

The more experience, years and continuation one endures, the more complex the Self becomes. I have no problem acknowledging the boundaries of visual perception. Question is whether it's the Real I'm experiencing, or if it's an imagination. Indiscipline by King Crimson depicts the relentless confusion that's always there. Sometime it's entertaining at a distance, sometimes horribly superficial.
All is Matter and how we perceive Matter is subjectively processed through layers of nerves, synapses and braincells in such mass that the quantitative knowledge would drive you insane. Understanding the Matter is impossible to be universalised; it's only Real to the Self. Same logic should apply to the paradox of human interaction: How can you be sure you're not the only living creature in this universe (which is a mental storage for Space, detached from the Self)? In essence, how can you be sure that this isn't an illusion? But if your Self is the only Real, how would that explain your interpretations of the Real? Doesn't the social environment and development give some clues? Could it all be explained as to a prolonged start-run for the Self to rid itself of the notion of a Collective? But then, how did it all begin? This is a mindfuck, if you stop to think about it. Humans are gifted with the most terrible thing in all of evolution: Self-awareness.

Marcus Aurelius said: "...nothing is so productive of elevation of mind as to be able to examine methodically and truly every object which is presented to thee in life, and always to look at things so as to see at the same time what kind of universe this is...", and in an earlier passage: "Thou must now at last perceive of what universe thou art a part, and of what administrator of the universe thy existence is an efflux". In essence, Aurelius was a true stoic, constantly promoting notions of duty, loyalty, truth and honour. But his universal objectivity is something I'm having a hard time coping with. This kind of positivism is eating away the very heart of exploration, bot inwards and outwards. One could argue that there's many different aspects of the Real, that it all depends on the spatial dimension and how its subjects creates interaction and interdependence with it. If the majority of the people embraced suicide as the only viable option to end life then the "anti-suicidists" would be considered crazy. And that's making the assumption that there's more than one conscious operating at the same time. Outside of it, this all becomes an imaginary picture of small figures, frozen in a sandbox of a god.